Stuff of nightmares. For the first time this season, the pub was actually advertising the game a couple of days earlier, which in itself should have set off the alarms.
We weren't entirely surprised the doors were still shut. They do tend to be open until the early hours, so getting out of bed on Saturday is often a problem and I always worry about an early kick-off. The Police have a lot to answer for.
Peering through the window, there are some signs of activity; well, life at least.
I put the radio on and wait for them to stop talking about rugby. She seems to be polishing tables, I am told; couldn't she do that after she opens the door? Gesticulation through glass. Wonder vaguely how this appears from inside, but never mind, the meaning should be quite apparent. She is holding up two fingers, I am told, but in the informative rather than the demonstrative mode.
They are just about to toss the coin. OK, couple of minutes, shouldn't be a problem. Think vaguely about Gorgeous Gus and his lucky gold sovereign and wonder if each referee has a special coin that he takes out or just fiddles amongst his change on the day. Maybe the FA issues them with a special "tossing disc".
It's hard to work out the team news. Rooney doesn't feature, but I had always thought adding him to the squad was largely a gesture, perhaps to confuse or worry Sporting in their tactical preparation. Ronaldo is back of course; Micky is at left back and Evra in front of him. No Saha and can't work out if he's even on the bench. In the absence of our specialist substitutes, O'Shea and the Scottish player, who is in fact on the bench is an interesting question, but not one the BBC shows any inclination to answer.
No Tim Howard again for Everton. His excuse this time is a finger injury.
Two minutes is nearer to ten, not that we seem to have missed anything that could be described as action, but that's not the point. More research into the finer points of communication through glass. Table polisher disappears totally. Some of those waiting have sat on the pavement across the road, by the cemetery gates. Michael decides to take a chance on another pub, which may be showing it (despite lack pf advertisement), but we hang on a little longer.
When Radio 5 change commentators and the bleating tones of Alan Green take over, I start to get seriously concerned. And I'm not the only one. A screech from beside me; apparently two fingers meant, "We've decided not to open until two o'clock". Obvious, really. It always makes sense to advertise two or three matches you aren't going to show.
So follow Michael to the other pub, half listening to a continuing rant about the failings of publicans in one ear and Alan Green in the other. The game still doesn't sound worth watching but, apart from anything else, I am now desperate for a drink, and even prepared to watch Liverpool or the rugby.
So the first half hour has passed as we get there. I have heard Evra has hit the side netting. Arteta has put a free kick from just outside the box over the bar. Little else. Not missed a lot.
Arrive just in time to see Vidic play a corner up onto his face and wide. Then United suffer a blow a few minutes before half-time when Micky collapses with no-one near him and is carried off with what appears to be a bad knee injury. His knee looked to twist under him as he went down. He's replaced by Nani and Paddy drops back vaguely towards where a full-back might usually be.
Scholes is booked for punching the ball back not quite close enough to where it is supposed to be. Well, probably he was booked for "dissent", because he was certainly displaying clear disagreement with a handball decision that had been given against him, and the crowd were going for it. Scholes does tend to use his hands quite a lot, but on this occasion it was pretty much shoulder. And he was then fortunate not to be sent off for a late challenge on Arteta straight afterwards. Another referee might well have been more pompous and I expect Wiley might well have booked him for the challenge, had it not been for the previous card. I think Scholes is getting increasingly grumpy in his old age.
Watch a bit of the Liverpool game in the interval. Not looking much better than our game, to be frank.
One way and another, Scholes was United's most prominent player in this match. Early in the second half, he is on the far post for an Arteta corner and forced to hack Johnson's header off the line when he flicks it on at the near post. Scholes then wastes our best opportunity of the match after 55 minutes or so when he volleys wide from only about 10 yards, after Tevez has lifted the ball delicately over the defence to leave him clear. Tevez has looked fresh enough after his Australian trip, and shown some lovely touches, but is still not providing any cutting edge. Well, no-one is.
Ronaldo has been whacked a few times and failed to get anything out of the referee. Eventually, he is booked for diving, tumbling under a challenge from Leon Osman, as Ronnie runs along on the edge of the area. Replays seem to demonstrate clear contact. He might well have gone down relatively easily, given the ball was running out of his reach and it was a position he would have fancied, but I don't think that is "simulation" (it isn't when the blessed Michael Owen does it for example) and at that speed almost anything can make your balance go.
Louis is eventually brought off the bench after about 60 minutes, the classic SAF substitution time. He doesn't seem likely to have the same impact as against Sunderland.
In fact, it doesn't look as if we'll get anything from the game, when we make the breakthrough with seven minutes left, Vidic hurling himself in front of defenders at the near post, to head home a fine Nani corner.
Almost immediately, we see the other classic SAF substitution: a defender or defensive midfielder brought on with five minutes to go. It's a tactic I hate, seems generally disruptive and we usually seem to hold on despite rather than because of the change. Nice to see Pique, mind, but I'd have preferred a different context. If Mickey is really bad, perhaps he'll become left-back cover.
Everton put on the midweek hero McFadden in the closing minutes and he instantly brought a decent save from EVDS, although he can't hold it and we have to scramble around until Yobo turns it past the post.
So twice in a row we have disproved my old adage that we never score from corners. Perhaps this is just down to the introduction of Nani, I can't imagine we have been spending any more time on it in training. Obviously the general trend is worrying, but at least we are sneaking these ugly little wins. Apart from anything else, it must be incredibly annoying for other teams, this impersonation of Chelsea. Chelsea themselves can't manage it, which is even better, and have what seems to be a perfectly good goal disallowed. I am not entirely clear how we can be ahead of anyone on goal difference, but so we are.
Arsenal's defeat of Spurs is unfortunate, although it's a pretty good game; the result flatters them and Spurs would probably have won if they'd taken their earlier chances. Maybe it really is going to be a more competitive league this year. Of course, Spurs may panic and Berbatov may be agitating for a move at Christmas. And the other teams are really falling into the "difficult to beat" rather than the "be worried about" category. Leading teams will drop points against several of them, but I can't see any of them going on a devestating run just yet.
Everton 0 Manchester United 1
Everton: Wessels, Hibbert, Yobo, Lescott, Baines, Arteta, Jagielka, Neville (McFadden 85), Osman (Pienaar 73), Johnson, Yakubu (Anichebe 74).
Subs Not Used: Turner, Carsley.
Booked: Neville, Pienaar.
Manchester United: Van der Sar, Brown, Ferdinand, Vidic, Silvestre (Nani 41), Ronaldo, Carrick, Scholes, Evra, Giggs (Saha 63), Tevez, Nani (Pique 85).
Subs Not Used: Kuszczak, Gibson.
Booked: Scholes, Ronaldo.
Red shirts, black shorts, black stockings.
Goals: Vidic 83.
Attendance: 39,364. Referee: Alan Wiley (Staffordshire).
Learn that Mickey's knee is wholly buggered and he's done for the season. Dopey though he can be, I have a soft spot for him, if only for refusing to play with Joey Barton, and it would be sad to see his career end like this. Knee injuries are increasingly prevalent (I heard someone blame hard pitches, which may have some truth to it) and older players find them harder to deal with, witness Ole. I wouldn't be altogether surprised if that is effectively the end of Mickey.
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